Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
