I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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