I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
