that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
