I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize