spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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