hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
