oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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