I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize