So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
