her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
