note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
