She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize