stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
