I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
