well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize