The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
