Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
