I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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