the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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