im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
