I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
