im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
