i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize