sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
