he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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