you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
