Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
