she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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