It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
