Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
