so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize