oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
