Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
