her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
