I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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