the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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