so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
