And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
3 2 1 whiskey
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
