tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
