I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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