im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
