I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
