wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
