actually, I'm a sock model
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she peed on how many people?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
