We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
