They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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