This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
