Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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