so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
