Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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