i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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