Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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