She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
