Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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