i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
