well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i think my mom watched the whole time
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
