I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
