well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
