Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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