A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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