epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i will never coherently bang her
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
