just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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