he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
