I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
