I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
