i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
