Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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