Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
