I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
