I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
