why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
