she looked like the bat from fern gully.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
