she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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