Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
