In the future we'll all be gay
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
