who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
