were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
