I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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