i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
