soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
