Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize